I'm Not Afraid to Keep On Living

1) I thought of a name for my zine, finally( ! )

2) I haven't really weighed in about the Panic situation( , )

3) Work has been really really interesting lately. I have been given significantly more responsibility and my own mini-staff to supervise and I just keep remembering how much I love working with volunteers. LOVE it. I'm still hoping to go to grad school in Fall 2010, I miss learning and I want to get a masters/phd (depending), but i don't know how I'm going to leave all my volunteers that I've spent two or three years building up and I know I'm not indispensable, that other people could do my job, but I don't want someone else to! *whine*

Through a series of random events, I now want to write a story where Brendon has a purity ring, and joins Panic, and basically? Everyone keeps trying to tempt him out of it. It would be funny and humor and I really want to write it. WHY do I suddenly have all these Panic related bunnies when I've never even really liked them!?!??

But, think of it! Bden with a Purity Ring! Ryan being all serious about it, and writing lyrics and asking if they compromised Bden's purity to sing about fucking girls and shit, and Bden being like: "I don't think so?" \o?

And Spencer being like: "I tempt you with the power of my magical hips!"

And Brent (B/c if you haven't figured it out yet, I have a soft spot for him, even though I totally like Jon too!) being all like: "eh, whatever, more pussy for me."

And JON! JON! Jon would get Bden high and try to make him explain it logically, and Brendon would talk about family and stuff, and then the others would hook up and be all respectful of bden and he would want to join in but he'd have to weigh the options and everything.

*sigh*

My feelings are really, really clear on this. My parents detox people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol for a living. I grew up around addicts; I worked for my parents company for a bit; I've had friends do drugs.

I don't tolerate it in my life. Period. I will walk away from someone if they use anything outside of pot (and it took me a long time to accept even pot in my life). I've seen too many people destroyed because of alcohol and drugs; seen too many families torn apart.

Two of my aunts have drug abuse problems, and I've seen how it affects my family and their family. I know, logically, that addiction is a disease. And I have SO MUCH respect for people who are clean, who are fighting to stay clean, and taking it one day at a time. But my aunts aren't there, and haven't ever really been there.

This is my one hard line. It makes me sound like a bitch, and I'm fine with that characterization. I can't have drugs/alcohol in my life. I barely drink, I've only smoked up twice, and I haven't ever touched anything harder. And I won't.

If you disagree with this, fine. Please defriend me or let me know so I can defriend you. I'm that fucking serious about this. I won't even read fic that casually mentions drugs/alcohol. Because it squicks me/touches me/moves me that deeply.

That is all.